Home Features Club Nights Underwater Pics Feedback Non-Celebrity Diver Events 24 August 2017
Blog Archive Medical FAQs Competitions Travel Offers The Crew Contact Us MDC LDC
Order Tanked Up Magazine
 Twitter Tanked Up FAQ Dive Medicine  Download the Tanked Up Magazine App
 

ISSUE 18 ARCHIVE - REASONS FOR LAYING WASTE TO THE UNDERWATER ECOSYSTEM

Rob Hunt

Itís notoriously difficult to accurately survey population sizes of marine species.

It was at large.

It was a bit fancy.

I needed to test my LUEWDs (Laying Underwater Ecosystems to Waste Devices).

I heard about them fish what can bite and that.

Itís perfect for future biographical films to use as early evidence of my supervillainous nature.

Ecosystems wonít destroy themselves.

Ha ha! Dead fish.

It wasnít me, it was you. Yes it was. Yes it was. Was was was.

If I donít do it, someone else will.

Well, you smoked a cigarette within 400 metres of a playground yesterday.

Does not compute.

All life contains the potential for danger. Thus: terrorism.

It was there.

It was untidy.

Austerity... Recession... Something or other... Youíre fired.

I was trying to channel the spirit of Jacques Cousteau, but I accidentally got the 1950sí version.

It didnít make me laugh.

It looked like your dad.

Free enterprise. Free trade. Free Nelson Mandela.

High spirits.

I thought we were doing Of Mice and Men, it was Lennie and I was George.

It doesnít listen to 6 Music.

I watched the Thatcher film.

It was asking for it. They all are.

At least Iíve never killed anyone. Not many people, anyway.

It was baffling in its complexity, terrifying in its mystery, over- whelming in its profundity, and too watery.

No WiFi.

Dolphins live in it.

Stop being mean to me.

My dad ate a fish once and it made him do a vomit.

Another time he ate a bit of cow (which isnít a fish) and it might have cured him of cancer. If he had cancer.

Hereís 8p. Go up the West End and buy yourself something nice.

Iím a bit too spiritual for your earthly concerns, actually.

This sort of thing wouldnít happen if we had more guns.

Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

[Begin the theme tune from Dallas. Start slowly

and softly, get louder and faster on each repeat.]

Lifeís not fair.

I think one of your nuts is swelling up.

Hey, no politics, no religion.

Theyíd have no time for that sort of thing on Dragonís Den.

Project bloody AWARE.

Just explain one thing to me.

I am experiencing a dearth of interest in your proclamations.

Iím just a regular, god-fearing citizen of this great country.

Worse things happen at sea.

Do not touch my bottom or my catís bottom.

Thou shalt not accuse... er... people of... er... things.

I donít much care for your tone of voice, young man.

Immigrants.

The Underwater Channel
Catfish Dive & Safari
Agony Armchair Aunt Best Bride Busted Catch Catch Chamber Club Cooking DCI Deep Dentist Dive Dive Diver Diver Diving Doc Don'ts Don'ts Dos Downsides Dry Editorial Fish Flow Gimp Guide Horrorscopes Investigates Letters Love Marine Myth Nervous Night Non-Celebrity Part Paul Photo Photography Photostory Practical Quiz Quiz Reasons Rob Salmon Scapa Scuba Sea Shark Sharkipedia Sharm Spiced Story Tech Technical Things Toomer Triggerfish Tyson UK Underwater Versus World World Worst