Issue 6 Letters from the Archives of the Tanked Up Magazine

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20 April 2024

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ISSUE 6 ARCHIVE - LETTERS
My enjoyment of this issue of London Diver Magazine was ruined by frame 5 of the photostory Love In The Time Of DCI. As Brad goes to throw the Rubik's cube against the wall, we can quite clearly see that it's complete, something that is manifestly not the case in frame 3. As a result, I am now unconvinced that a Rubik's cube is an instrument of time travel and my children have been subjected to the traumatic sight of their father weeping. Mr Peter Dantic Ed: Whilst the side facing the camera is complete, inspection with a magnification device made of glass will reveal that the other two visible sides are not. I recently had the most enormous pleasure of doing my PADI Open Water diving course in the city of Los Angeles. My wife accompanied me too and partook in said experience. We both passed and my particular Instructor described my performance as "fly". My wife's was described though as "dope". As we are a most competitive pairing, often coming to blows across the bridge table or during a stag hunt, could you tell us which is better – fly or dope? Lord Helmesely of Monmouth Ed: Our lexicon () shows that you did indeed outperform your wife. Fly is better than dope when diving is concerned. "Yo Bro Go Dive" – the PADI guide to Street Diving. Crips Edition, Vol 2.	May I just write to inform all tourists going on "all-inclusive holidays" in dive areas of the following: THE DIVING IS NOT PART OF OF YOUR CHEAP SHITTY HOLIDAY. It's just the food and booze and your room. So please stop coming down to my dive centre in the hotel, booking dives then showing me your crappy plastic wristband and acting in mock surprise when you get a bill after all our efforts with you. And if someone can translate that into Russian it would make my life a lot easier. Yours, Yvonne A Dive Centre in Egypt As an economist, may I say to all your LDM readers a very happy 2011. Sadly that's the best I can offer at the moment. Milton Keynes Professor of Banking. HMP Slade. Fraud Wing Ref "Letters" in your last issue. May I remind ALL divers of the mantra to which we abide. "Take only photos and leave only bubbles". So the next time you find billions in heisted gold in an old U-boat at 130 metres off the coast of Tierra del Fuego please could you leave it untouched for the enjoyment of the next divers that come there. Rev. N. Case
Thank you for your response to my letter, which turned my tears of frustration into tears of joy. I have now begun a national campaign to have the Rubik's cube banned on grounds that time travel breaks perfectly good metaphysical laws and because I'm a bit frightened by coloured squares. Peter Dantic Please can you help me? I am looking for somewhere that has a large tank of water that I can be on the outside of and shoot some arty stills of actors inside. I have tried the usual studio places but they are much too expensive for me... I just want to be arty and do some experiments! Thank you Matt Ed: The set up required to shoot stills photography of underwater subjects whilst shooting from outside is rather specialised, so it may well be tricky to find somewhere that isn't somewhat expensive. It would be worthwhile speaking to Deeper Blue or Ocean Optics if you have not already done so. The Studio in Battersea is usually one of the better value filming tanks. Try and find out if there are any other underwater shoots going on at the studios and maybe you can come in afterwards, when the tanks are still filled – they may offer you a deal. If you are a qualified scuba diver, then it may be worth looking into the option of shooting from in the water, The Underwater Photographers Gallery offer equipment hire and testing in their training pool.	As a skydiver from London, Ontario, I would like to express my disappointment upon discovering that, despite the promising title, London Diver Magazine is not the publication for me; a fact made all too clear when I attempted to load it into my AK-47 assault rifle. Yours in dismay, Ian Canad I really like ham sandwiches, but that scarcely seems relevant. Tedward Jones I don't dive or read your mag at all really. But this diving thing – is it any good? Noosh Ed: Yeah, its alright I suppose – if you like that sort of thing.
Feeling inspired? Why not write to us yourself? We'll put the best letters up here and in our next issue.
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